This past week has been pretty horrible. I have been feeling like such a zombie, which is weird because Halloween isn't for like another couple of weeks.
Never mind that we just had our Thanksgiving weekend in which mounds of food has been consumed. I know I keep beating this dead horse who, I swear, is rotting to the core, but I hate hate hate how my body bulges out so quickly even when I feel I've been doing so well. Maybe it just serves as a reminder that I might be doing well, but I'm not doing well the right way.
Maybe it's that I'm not eating enough at times (check) or exercising enough (HUGE check), but it's really infuriating how quickly I am able to pack on the pounds that I work so hard to lose. Maybe it's the fact that I'm now an old fart. I don't know.
Despite this downward spiral, I suppose the bright side of it is that I am taking responsibility for my actions and am seeking out positive ways to overcome this obstacle. If this were a year ago, I'd be knee-deep in cookies and chips from now until Christmas. The negative self-talk has calmed down significantly this past year.
I know that it's my choices that make me the way I am. Not the asshole who didn't let me merge when my lane was ending. Or the kid in school that wouldn't shut up. Or the colleague that won't stop being annoying. Or the parents who just don't understand. In the past, I allowed these people to pretty much dictate my daily caloric intake.
It was always somebody else's fault.
I've grown up a lot in the past year and mostly in the past few months. I'm dealing with setbacks in such a way that I am quick to get back up on my feet again. Sometimes the punch will be such a "sucker" that it might leave me down for more than I would like ... but it's nothing like it was in the past where the dark side would consume me for months or even years. I find now that I am able to change my thoughts in a matter of days.
I'm done putting limitations on myself. I'm ready to live the life I deserve.
I'm beginning to learn that it's okay to be selfish when it's for the greater good.
And really, when the end result is being the best ME that I can be, why wouldn't I be selfish?
