Today should have been one of the most exciting days of my life.
Instead, I allowed someone to get under my skin and make a home there.
I'm not pissed about what happened. I'm not pissed that this person attempted to screw with me ... I'm upset that I let it stay with me for as long as I have and am. The day is nearly done, yet I still feel the weight of his words and actions upon me.
I'm not okay with this. I'm a strong person. I don't let people's beliefs about me (especially questionable people such as the one I had to deal with) define who I am. I know that I do my best with what I have and with where I am.
Today just knocked me off my rocker a little. I've been trying to occupy my head with positive thoughts. Been trying to think about all the good that's been coming into my life. Trying to just acknowledge this feeling of dis-ease so that I can let it go.
But, it lingers.
This blip in my radar just serves as a cold reminder that in life, people are going to think and do what they want no matter how ridiculous or inappropriate it may be. There are just some people out there with priorities that I will never agree with. And there are people who will try to make me feel small to make themselves feel big.
I have no control over that.
I can control one thing and one thing only. Me. My thoughts. My actions. My ability to get through these radar blips unscathed. I don't need anymore scars to remind myself of how strong I am. People will try to cut me ... but they will only succeed if I let them.
Today, I let them.
And my only regret is that I didn't trust in myself enough to let it go. Instead, I let it eat away at my day. I let the more important things take a back seat. I just went through the motions of what was one of the most important days of my life.
I guess I still have a lot of learning and growing to do. I just hope that tomorrow I wake up with a clear head.
