Not My Fault

I'm not sure why it happens, but it just does. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not consciously trying to attract men who are unavailable. It just seems to happen that way. I'm less nervous around unavailable guys and maybe that makes me attractive to them. Because I'm being me or I don't care or whatever.

He was just my type. Tall. Scruffy beard. Oh so cute. But that's where it ended. In tow, was his wife and two adorable little kids. Ugh. Family guy. Just stab me right in the heart, universe.

Maybe my look lingered too long, I don't know. But I guess I tend to do that when I know the guy is unavailable because it's not like he can strike up a conversation with me, you know? It's safe. My eyes can rest a few seconds or minutes longer because there is no threat of actual conversation. It's safe. And it's not like I gave him my hungry eyes. Just my eyes that said, "Ugh. Family guy. Must you be so adorable with your adorable kids, you adorable family guy, you?"

I didn't mean for it to mean anything more than that.

It's not my fault that every time I saw him somewhere, his look would linger as well. I didn't mean for that to happen. It's not my fault that when I would sunbathe by the resort pool and he'd be in there playing with his kid while managing to steal glances my way. It's not my fault that I couldn't help but watch as I kept re-reading the same words on a page of my novel.

I don't know. It's quite possible that I look for "love" in all the wrong places. It's not that I want you because you're a conquest. It's just that I really like beards. And tall guys who happen to sport them. I didn't ask that you came with a family. In fact, it kind of ruins things, you know? I would never break up your family and I would never dream of doing anything with you that could make your wife want to drown me in the pool or feed me to the sharks in the ocean.

The moral of the story is I should probably just hope that you have a single friend who has also thrown his razor away.