2011 has been off to a pretty good start. I've lost a total of 13 pounds since the start of January by way of a combination of being disgusted with my self and working out and watching what I eat. I have had many a slip up. Many. A slip up. So to be able to say that I've still managed to lose this weight DESPITE the fact that I gorged on food as though I were on my last meal at death row? That's saying something.
It's saying something HUGE about P90X. Ha! Remember that song and dance I went through last year trying to document my progress? Well, it turns out that I don't need this blog to motivate myself to get through the program. I just needed to be disgusted with myself. But, aside from the jokes (what? she's being funny?) this program truly is amazing. After just one month I feel so much stronger and I can't believe that I'm 1/3 of the way through my first round.
I've made a vow to myself. I'm taking it slow, but I will reach AND MAINTAIN my goals this time around. Fuck it. I'm not embarrassed writing it down because this time I'm not doing it to try and convince myself. As far as I'm concerned, it is already a done deal. I just need to go through the journey so that my body can catch up to the picture I have in my head.
I realized something that might seem so silly, but has really clicked an on switch in my head:
"I can't look the way I want to look without exercising."
That's it. I don't just want to be "skinny". I want to be FIT. I want to have muscle and definition. And I want to feel empowered and strong. So that's what I'm doing. I'm not losing weight for weight losses sake. That's just a happy tag-a-long to a much more important place.
The place where I love myself completely.
