Two Roads

I watched a basketball game last night at a big stadium with, like, professional basketball players and stuff.

I went with a very large group. About 150 people large. The thing about sporting events is that I love love LOVE watching them live, but can do without them on the regular. If it's on the tube and someone else is watching, then I won't complain. But I don't go out of my way to watch it on television all by myself.

So, anyways. I'm at this sporting event and the very large group somehow manages to stay together but a lot of the time they are getting up to go pee or get hammered or whatever it is that one does at a sporting event such as this.

This caused a lot of movement. I was in and out of the stadium, but mostly in. I enjoy games and would prefer watching one live than sitting in a bar in a stadium drinking. But since my bladder seems to be working just fine, I had to pee every so often which meant I'd be coming and going too. And though we were assigned seats, it was pretty much assumed that we could sit wherever we wanted. After all, the bar seats had more of a need of being kept warm than the stadium seats were.

There was a large portion of the game where I sat by myself with empty seats all around me because the drunk was happening. I didn't mind. I'm used to being alone. I didn't even think twice about it really. I still interacted with the people around me that I knew ... I just had to interact with them a little louder than usual. And the truth is that I actually watched the game.

At one point in the night I was sitting in between a young couple and an old(er) man.

At first, I didn't really think anything of it. I don't think of much these days. But then something happened that made me kind of look at both my right and left side from out of the corner of my eye (so that the couple wouldn't think I was trying to get my rocks off by watching them and the older man wouldn't think I'd want to get his rocks off) and thought, "Holy shit ... it's like I'm sitting between my two fates."

Scenario One: Find myself in a committed relationship.

Scenario Two: Find myself just as I am, alone and "okay with it" at a much older age.

I don't know. I like being alone now, but I don't know how much I'll like it when I reach that age. And time is funny ... it goes by so fast that you don't even realize you're nearing your mid-thirties (even though you feel like you're in your mid-twenties *cough*).

So it's almost like I was being presented with these two thought paths.

It's almost like the Universe was saying, "Hey, chica. You want to be alone? That's good and all, but if you don't change your thoughts soon, you're heading for alonesville and you'll be stuck there because you won't like to take the risk at not being alone. And look at how cute that couple is? And I know you ... you love being with someone. You love to shower with affection. So, what's it going to be?"

Yeah, the Universe talks to me ... I'm a lucky gal.

I guess I got a lot of thinking to do.