Achievement UNLOCKED!!

Holy shit, Universe.

You've gone and done it again. I shouldn't be surprised, but every time you make things happen for me, I am surprised.

I think the thing that I am finally starting to get is not worrying about the how and just focusing on the what and the why and the feelings attached to it.

Okay, for all you readers staring at my blog all like, "huh?"allow me to explain.

A couple of weeks ago, my nieces asked me for an Easy Bake Oven as a present for Christmas. And my immediate thought was, "Oh awesome! Now I can get these little minions to bake me cookies that are semi-raw!"

I'm wonderful, I know.

I had already gotten them other gifts, but figured since they actually asked for the oven, I would get it for them as well.

This task proved to be quite challenging. Basically, there were no Easy Bake Ovens to be found as far as the eye could see!! They were completely sold out in every store within a 4-hour radius of where I live.

I have spent countless hours on the phone with Walmart, Zellers and Toys 'R Us. I have spent countless hours on the internet trying to find independent stores that might have the toy. I have been hung up on, I have been put on hold for longer than is probably allowed, and I would not stop getting the same answer of, "Sorry, we're all sold out."

Basically, it was hopeless. I was almost ready to admit defeat and have to resort to lying to them about it being ordered but it not having come in yet, and that they'd be getting it in the new year. Problem with that scenario is that I really wanted them to open it at Christmas time.

I had friends and family tell me it wasn't going to happen and then cock their head and say, "You think so?" when I told them that I still had hope that those girls would be opening up an Easy Bake Oven on the eve of Christmas. They scoffed at my hope, they did. But I didn't let that get to me because if there is one thing that the Universe has taught me, it's that the thoughts of others make no difference in my quest, whatever that may be.

The Universe always says, "Fuck the hows ... leave those up to me." But being a silly human, I want to know the hows ... I want to be in charge of the hows. So in my head, my how was that I would continuously harass these stores and probably threaten one or two until someone told me that they received a shipment and LO! it included easy bake ovens.

Of course that never happened. And it led me to feelings of defeat and dejection and to thinking that the company of Hasbro was not at all efficient in their production of Easy Bake Ovens and perhaps they should have thought to employ Santa's elves because then maybe there would not be such a shortage. Also, I had one week left to figure something out and I was grasping at straws.

Whenever I go through a state of despondency, it leads me to do nasty things to "hurt" myself. Like for example, yesterday I sent a message to my trainer asking if I could cancel my appointment with him without being charged because, apparently, if I don't have an Easy Bake Oven for my nieces, then I don't deserve to be slim and fit! Fuck you, healthy body! I'm staying home to drown in my sorrows! I sent a text with a blatant, but believable lie that I had Christmas shopping to do. It worked! He believed me! Man, he's so gullible.

Truth is, I had no desire to go outside and face the world. I read a bit. Checked up on Twitter. But, then I got a text that made me feel guilty. It was a text from my SIL asking if I had any luck with my quest. I said no. What I should've said was, "Noooo, can you believe that Twitter isn't selling any?! Teh basturds!!"

This made me feel like a bad aunt, so I once again hopped onto the websites to find the listed numbers to call WITH NO LUCK.

Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head. Craigslist. OF COURSE! And wouldn't you know, I came across a listing that was selling THREE of them and asking the consumer to make an offer. I emailed the person and said I needed two and that I was having a very hard time finding them in the stores. I didn't make an offer, thinking that we could get to that when I decided I would buy them. For some reason, this possible transaction didn't sit well with me. Perhaps it was the grainy photo that was attached that made it look like the Easy Bake Oven was being held hostage. I don't know.

Doesn't Scrooge email me back asking me to pay 60 dollars for each one when I fully know that they are not 60 dollars even in the stores?! She told me she bought them at Zellers, so I wanted to do a little investigative work before I got back to her. I was going to call a Zellers in Toronto and ask them what the retail price was so that I can email Scrooge back and say, "What's with the 50% mark-up, beyotch!?"

The first Zellers I called made me wait for what seemed like an eternity and then hung up on me. 'Tis the season to be a fucker I suppose.

I called a second Zellers where a nice sales associate told me that the price had been marked DOWN to 25 dollars from 35 dollars! HA! I couldn't wait to email Scrooge back to let her know that I KNEW she was trying to screw me over. AND AT CHRISTMAS! Something stopped me from ending my conversation with the nice man ... his voice just seemed so reassuring. So I asked the nice man ... slowly ..., "Do you HAVE any Easy Bake Ovens in stock?!" "Yes, we do." OMG THE HERALD ANGELS ARE SINGING AND I HEAR THEM!!! They had them in stock. THEY HAD THEM IN STOCK!!

"OMG CAN YOU PUT TWO ON HOLD FOR ME PLEASE?!!?!"

"Of course!"

I AM GOING TO MARRY THE NICE SALES ASSOCIATE MAN AND HAVE ALL HIS BABIES AND NAME THEM ANYTHING HE WANTS, EVEN VOLTRON OR JAR JAR BINKS!!

I asked the nice man to give me his exact location again since I had a bunch of numbers in front of me and I forgot which store I called. I told him I'd be picking them up that night.

I had to drive across the city and into questionable areas but oh man was it so worth it. I had to wait in a customer service line for almost an hour, but again ... so. worth. it.

I had the toys! I HAD THE TOYS!!!

And now my Christmas shopping is officially done for the kiddos and I can rest for the remainder of the week knowing that I am the best aunt in the world who gives the best gifts.

I never would have thought that my own personal Scrooge would lead me to the ONE Zellers that actually had the oven in stock ... a store that I had called before with no luck!

My hat goes off to you, Universe. Well, I'm not wearing a hat, so I'll just give you a very awkward curtsy.

Oh, and I emailed Scrooge letting her know that I got the ovens in a Zellers for 25 dollars and thanks anyway! Ha, stupid lady. Doesn't she know that a Scrooge will never get his way at Christmas time?