On How I Got Conned Into Paying $250 For Eye Cream

I have never paid so much money for the health and well-being for the smallest part of my face.

I was walking through a mall to get to a yummy South Asian restaurant where I'd be meeting the rest of my friends. This mall is in the shape of a track and of course the store I needed to get to was at the opposite end -- it took me a good 15 minutes to get to the restaurant.

Just when I thought I would never have my sushi dinner, I noticed an arm was raised and fingers were snapping in my direction to get my attention.

Note to self: When walking through the mall never ever look in the direction of the kiosks in the middle of the aisle. Because that's when they will get you.

"I want you to try this cream eez wonderful."

"Actually I'm in kind of a hurry," I said pointing in the general direction of the restaurant. "My friends are expecting me and I'm late."

There, I thought. I'm out of the clear and I don't even feel bad about it.

Or so I thought. She grabbed my arm and led me to her domain. "This will only take a few seconds. Let me show you hot to get rid of the bags under your eyes."

At that point, I chuckled because here I'm thinking flattery will get you everywhere, yet she basically said I'm ugly because of my carry-ons residing beneath my eye balls.

She starts slathering cream under my eyes telling me how it works wonders and how in two weeks I should go back and show her how my life has changed once my dark circles disappear. Basically in two weeks, not only will the cream make me look younger, but I will find a husband, buy a house with a picket fence and own a dog named ChiChi. Oh and win the lottery.

"You such a pretty girl. The dark circles is the only thing wrong with your face."

Note to readers: I think those dark circles are genetic. If I show you a picture of myself at three, right after you notice how insanely cute I am with my blonde hair (yes, I was blonde as a child), you will notice my enormous eyes with my enormous bags.

As I'm looking up trying not to laugh while she applies the cream thinking this woman is whack, she asks if I'm married.

"No, not married."

"Yes! Me too! I'm not married! Woooo hooooo!"

I laughed nervously at that until I noticed that she stopped applying the cream and was waiting for me to give her some skin in the form of a high five. Not wanting to leave her hanging, I gave her a half-assed return as I looked around wondering if anyone else was witness to the lady-who-will-do-anything-for-a-sale.

She finished putting the cream on and said, "Beautiful! You can already see a difference!" She put up a mirror in front of my face and the only difference I saw was that one of my eyes had cream on it and the other didn't.

Her partner in crime came towards us and she said, "Look! Look how pretty!"

Fuuuuuuck, I just want my spicy tuna roll!!! Is that too much to ask!

"OKAY!" I said in a fretting kind of tone. "I will buy the cream. I will BUY THE CREAM! But I need to get to my friends now."

I said this thinking fuck, let me shut them up and buy their cream. Thinking that it would cost 50 bucks at most? Thinking I wouldn't have to order the miso soup instead since it would be a cheaper alternative to the sushi I wanted.

The man packaged my Mineral Eye Cream and Mineral Eye Serum and tallied it up quickly and said, "Okay, so that is $250."

"Wait .... what??? $250 DOLLARS!! HUNDRED???" I had my debit card out and waiting to pass on to him which HE TOOK and said, "Oh please, zees is for your face, it's not like you buying a t-shirt."

Swipe.

I didn't know what to do or say other than punch in my code. I think to make up for ripping me off he said I could choose a free gift. A body scrub. Vanilla or Lavender flavour. I went through the motions and picked out Vanilla. Then at the last second he threw in two more free gifts. The woman seeing this said, "How many free gifts you give her!?!?"

He shushed her and said I was an exception.

250. Dollars. For the smallest part of my face. Dead Sea Cosmetics, you have made a dent in my account. I don't care if "Aristotle, the Queen of Sheba, King Solomon and Cleopatra were all familiar with it. " (written on the box, because that's supposed to make me feel better)

I'm not an eye cream person, but you can bet your ass that I will be using these ones until the last drop. And there is no way I am going back to that kiosk.

Fool me, can't get fooled again.