I wear so many different hats throughout my days that I sometimes don't even know who I am supposed to be anymore.
Hi! My name is teacher EM!
Hi! My name is mediator EM!
Hi! My name is foster parent EM!
Hi! My name is Hitler EM!
Hi! My name is nurse EM!
Hi! My name is officer EM!
Hi! My name is mom EM!
Hi! My name is [fill in the blank of what I need to be depending on the situation] EM!
This is my life on the job. I am the good guy who sometimes needs to be the bad guy. I am the person who will praise you to no end, but will scold you if I feel you are not working to your potential. I am the person who you can come to with absolutely anything on your mind, but the person who won't just tell you what you want to hear. I am brutally honest. But I care so damn much. So damn much that I forget to care about me sometimes. I have my quiet moments of distress where I question what I do and if I am doing it right and if I am missing anything and pleaselordgod let me be doing a good job with these kids.
It's so hard being a teacher some days. Okay most days. I love it, I love it so much, but some days I don't think that I am worthy or good enough to be doing this. The amount of responsibility that is on my shoulders just scares me. I have the power to make a huge impact in their lives and that scares me. This age group that I'm dealing with (13-14) scares me.
It's that time of year again where I am doing the silent scream in my head. I talk about it with friends in sweeping gestures ..., "I'm a little stressed right now, but I'll get through it." Not elaborating because saying it out loud might intensify this feeling of I CAN'T DO THIS!
It is times like these that I am happy I have this outlet.
At least with this post I can make a puncture in my brain that will let out a little air in my head. Hopefully it is the thoughts filled with self-doubt that will float away.
7 hours ago
19 comments:
Amen to that. You don't know what teachers have to go through until you are one.
...or until you date one.
I seriously don't know how you, or other teachers, do it. But I"m thankful that there are still teachers out there like you. It gives me faith in the future generations.
I'm glad you have this outlet, too.
because you worry/stress about these things is why you have EARNED and DESERVE the titles of teacher and mom. but let's put a fabulous in front of them. so nice to meet you fabulous teacher and fabulous mom EM!
Off topic, but I have a question for you, teacher.
How do you get your youtube thingy over there to fit in your sidebar as that small little player?
Hi, My name is Chris and I think you are fabulous and can do absolutely anything you want (and eff the evil forces that get in your way).
I can imagine you have these thoughts, only because I think of teachers I know and I think "how the hell can they do that work?" I have such admiration, I can't really put it into words. I can tell you that from what I hear, those thoughts are completely normal. But I know normal isn't a lot of consolation during those insane times.
But perhaps some reassurance might come from knowing that the work you teachers do (the good ones, the ones like you that really do care) makes me want to find work like that. Even if only for a minute.
I know exactly what you feel and you put it into words so nicely!!!
I my name is Hero EM.. You forgot that one.
I sometimes scream that in my head and I do not work with kids of any age!!!
You are completely normal.
Or else you and I are a both a little bit off...
All I have to say is, AMEN. You said it all. You hate them, you love them, you worry about them when you can't fix what's really hurting them, and yet we still spend hours every night making sure that the next day will be great because school is the best and most 'normal' part of the day for so many of them.
You can do it because the parents, the faculty, your friends, and your family believe in you. We trust you're going to give your best day in and day out. You're human and you're going to have tough days. But we know this and we admire your backbone. We admire all that you've said and done. Sometimes we may not like what you say about us, our child, our careers, our relationships. We know that it comes from the heart and that's what matters in this game called life. Don't change!
you forgot
Hi! My name is Blogger EM!
There's no doubt you've got one of the toughest jobs out there. I don't think I could do it.
The very fact that you worry that you may not be worthy of the power means that you almost definitely ARE!
Keep it up. You never know when you're touching someone's life for good. As cliche as that sounds, it was at that age when I met the teacher who inspired me to become one (even though I'm not currently, I will be soon again). :)
And, of course, my sympathies.
I don't think you give yourself enough credit at all. Teaching is tough, but you are impacting their lives for sure.
I have always thought teachers are seriously under appreciated. Fo sho.
13-14 is definitely impressionable, but I feel like you can actually get through to them before they become more unruly. Do you teach a certain subject or do a bunch of them?
TR, I teach all of the subjects so it gets a little hectic and my mind feels all helter skelter throughout my days.
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