I Want To Feel Pain When I Laugh

I have a fitness test on Friday that apparently is mandatory and included in the cost of the membership for the gym I just joined.

"We're going to put you through some tests to check out your endurance. And we'll also weigh you and measure you."

"Um, can't I just join the gym and be left alone?"

"Not in this gym. We'll also be hounding your ass every 8 weeks to re-assess you to see how you're doing and if you're reaching your goals."

So on Friday at 4pm, I need to go to the gym ready to work for an hour. I've been warned that I should have had something to eat before that point since I will be worked hard for a solid hour.

Thank you Lord for my bootcamp experience.

"I'm assuming you want a girl trainer?"

"Yes, please."

"If I were you I'd be scared of [name]. She's built like a truck."

"Whatever. She's got boobs of some sort. That's all that matters."

It's funny how he automatically assumed I'd want a female to do the testing with me. As soon as you throw in weight and measurements, it's like you're talking about pap smears. If anyone has to smear my pap, it has to be a girl doctor. And I guess the same goes with body measurements.

"How often do you want to come to the gym?"

"I was thinking 4-5 times a week. Monday to Thursday and one day during the weekend ... like Saturday."

"That's too much. How about 1 - 2 days per week?"

"No. That's too little. And what the hell, dude, I've done bootcamp! You just wait and see how I kill that little pansy-ass test on Friday."

I haven't worked out regularly since October. I've done stuff here and there, but not enough. I won't be starting up with bootcamp again until April when it is outdoors and there is no way I am living a sedentary life until then. The gym is close to my home so I can come home, eat, wait a bit, then go. There is nothing that deters me more than knowing I need to lug around gym clothes all day. Yeah, I've got loads of excuses.

Well, I've said to myself that this is the year that I will finish what I started. I can't do that by sitting down and snacking while reading a book/watching television/playing on the computer.

I'm actually looking forward to Friday. And if what manager says about that trainer is true, then I fully expect my body to be screaming with pain on Saturday.

I can't wait.